The Past(Alex, Nelly)

She didn’t know how long she sat there hunched down next to the barn watching the fire take away everybody she loved. At one point the pain had become too much to bear and she had thought about running inside of the burning building but she knew that her parents’ would not approve of such selfishness. Not knowing what else to do, she left the smoldering scene behind her and sought shelter within the hayloft where she finally cried herself to sleep.

Alex awoke early the next morning with the dream still haunting her. Usually she could shake the memories but for some reason they wouldn’t allow her to move on today. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she grabbed a pair of blue jeans from a drawer and slipped on a white cotton button up shirt that was too big for her slight frame. After making a quick trip to the bathroom where she pulled her hair back into a loose braid, she went downstairs to join Nelly for breakfast.

“Good morning, dear” greeted the robust woman merrily while scooping out the last of the scrambled eggs onto a plate. Walking over to the little breakfast table she placed the eggs onto the table and without looking at the girl, left to retrieve the coffee. Feeling satisfied that all was ready, Nelly took a seat across from her young house guest. “Goodness, honey, you look like you’ve got a rain cloud hoverin’ over ya.” She unabashedly remarked upon seeing Alex sitting forlornly in her chair. “It’s those dreams of yours. Do you want to tell me about it?”

Alex shook her head half-heartedly while picking at her eggs with the end of her fork. The older woman reached over and gently clasped her hand around the distraught girl’s scarred hand. “Sometimes talking about horrible things, makes the burden easier to carry,” she said soothingly. Alex studied the woman sitting across from her, she had never told her story to anyone – there was nobody to share it with. Looking at the honest face before her, she felt safe enough to disclose her life to this kind woman.

Without warning, she began pouring out her heart to the attentive host. By the time they had finished breakfast and cleared away the dishes Alex had caught her up to where here family had been murdered and she was left as an orphan. “You poor dear,” was the only comment Nelly made while dabbing at her teary eyes. “What did you do? Did you go stay with family? What happened?”

Placing the last of the dishes up in the cupboard, Alex walked over to the sitting room followed by the curious woman. Taking a seat in front of the large picture window, she continued the story.

“Hunger finally drove me out of hiding but when I laid eyes on the smoldering ashes that had once been my home I quickly lost my appetite. I stood there a long time just watching the smoke spiral up to the white fluffy clouds overhead, void of all emotion save one – hatred. The longer I stood there, the stronger the feeling became until I was completely consumed with it. From that moment on, my one driving force was to find and kill every last one of those bastards who had stolen my life from me. I walked away from that place and never looked backed.”

“How did you survive? Didn’t somebody notice a little girl traveling alone?” Nelly was so engrossed in the story that she had forgotten that the girl was talking about a place and time out of the history books.

“I kept to the woods and only went into town or around homesteads when necessary. I quickly learned how to live off of the land and to make a shelter that could withstand most storms. I soon discovered the art of conning and thieving, I’m not proud of either but you do what you have to do in order to survive.” She paused for a moment out of embarrassment for her past behavior but with a reassuring comment from the caring woman, she continued her tale.

“Widows were the easiest to get a hot meal from and at times a warm place to sleep. I’d tell them some sob story about getting lost and they’d invite me in without a moment’s hesitation. I moved from town to town, thus avoiding any legal problems with guardianship. I only had to hide out until I was 16 then I was considered an adult. Those first few months were about nothing but survival and with winter fast approaching I knew that I needed to find a warm place to hole up. That’s when I heard about hired hands being needed in California. It was a good ways off from home but at least it was warm and I could make some honest money. However, there was only one hitch, I was a girl.

After running through my options, I decided to chop my hair and find me some trousers and a hat. I spent a few days observing how the young boys acted and dressed and feeling confident that I could pull it off, I went to work reinventing myself. With a new haircut and new clothes that I had swiped from a clothes line, I added the finishing touch by giving myself a new name. Thus Alex Milds was born. The next day I boarded a train along with two dozen other men of various ages heading west. Nobody questioned my awkwardness with the horses and ranch life, they just chalked it up to inexperience due to my young age. The more experienced hands were quick to show me the ropes and how to shoot a gun. I spent the next three years honing my skills and the day I turned sixteen I headed out on my own bent on revenge.

It didn’t take me long to get the names of my family’s murders, seems they just couldn’t help bragging about all the families they had gunned down or bullied into selling their homesteads. Unfortunately, the seven I was looking for had parted and gone their separate ways, meaning more time in taking them out. On the plus side, I wouldn’t be taking on more men than what I could handle.

Because I was now legally an adult, I wasn’t too concerned about disguising myself as a boy any longer, however, I did decide to keep the name because Alexandra Fields was dead to me just as much as my family was. Being a girl had its advantages because nobody thought of me as a threat. My first three victims were easy pray, they had become sloppy and lazy on all the money they had taken from innocent families. I showed no mercy in my killings and was more than glad to rid the plains of the filthy swine.”

Alex stood up and began pacing around the sun filled room as she continued with her story, her arms gesturing wildly and her eyes taking on a feverish look that concerned Nelly.

“In many of the towns I passed through, they didn’t care if some of the scum wound up dead, but when there’s too many in one place – well, that leads to trouble. I didn’t care though, I saw the two of them sitting in the saloon, laughing and drinking and I saw red. How dare they enjoy life when they stole mine away! I shot the bastards in front of everybody; a mistake that nearly cost me my life. The sheriff couldn’t turn a blind eye, not with that many witnesses. I was scheduled to be hanged the next day. If the other two men I was looking for were dead, I probably wouldn’t have cared if they hung me or not, but as it was I still had business to attend to. I sat in the cell that night crying my eyes out, laying on my best feminim charms, and wouldn’t you know it worked. The deputy, a young man not much older than me, couldn’t take the tears and unlocked the door allowing me to walk out of town. Men just can’t handle a girl cryin’.”

Alex started up the stairs indicating with a tilt of her head that Nelly should follow, which she was only too happy to do, for she was anxious to hear where the story was going. Once inside of Room 3 the cowgirl retrieved a slip of paper from within her saddle bags and handed it to Nelly who was perched comfortably on the bed.

“This here’s a list of the men who ruined my life and killed my family. Only two remain. I was on the trail of that fellow there” she pointed to a scrawled name that read Jake Small. “Old Jake there hadn’t turned into a drunk like the rest of the gang, he decided to embark in gold smuggling. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I crossed paths with him. He was taking gold from some Mexican General in return for information about the American Army. I really didn’t care about any of this, I just wanted the man dead but as luck would have it, I got caught spying on him. They pulled the local sheriff in on me by feeding them some cock –n – bull story about me being the gold thief and that’s why I was running from the posse the day I got caught in the sand storm. And the rest as they say is history.”

Alex stared out the window to the street below taking note of the cat and rabbit sitting across the street, “What is it with those two.” Shaking her head she crossed the room to stand in front of Nelly who was sitting quietly trying to make sense of all of this.

“You don’t believe me, do you? I can’t say that I blame you.”

“No, dear, that’s where you’re wrong” Nelly tenderly pulled the girl down to sit next to her on the bed, “I do believe you. I don’t know why but I know that everything you’ve said is the truth. Further more, I believe I’ve met this Jake Small before. I can’t be sure, I’ll have to do some checking around, but it seems to me that he was here once. Odd fellow, always wore cowboy boots like you and wore a dark brown Stetson. I can’t place where or when I saw him last but I know I’ve met him.” She stared at the paper as if the answer could be found there. After another moment of silence she handed the weathered parchment back to Alex. “You best be heading out, dear, I believe you have a busy day ahead of you.” And with that she exited the room leaving the girl alone with her thoughts.

Alex folded the list and returned it to the saddle bags. She picked up one of the six shooters and tucked it in the back of her pants at the small of her back. By untucking her blouse she was able to conceal the weapon. Stuffing a handful of bullets in her front pocket she was ready to patrol the streets.

She had her hand on the door ready to leave the bed ‘n’ breakfast when Nelly came rushing up to her. “Armani just called. Says he has your order ready and to bring the gun with you.”

The girl quickly returned to her room to retrieve the 12 gauge. With a quick “good-bye” tossed to Nelly, she left the building in the direction of Armani.